Friday, March 21, 2008
A Sad and Crazy Night
* This happend last Wednesday, March 19, 2008.
After a very tiring graduation practice, Janille and I decided to have an ultimate girl bonding. We went to SM and ate some icy food (whatever you call it) at the third floor. Well, I was crying earlier (due to a certain reason) and Janille was trying to make me feel better. At around 6 pm we went to PLDT to meet some friends because we will be having an honoring session that night, for Aldrin’s Birthday.
People at PLDT were already dying in boredom when we arrived. The ones who were assigned to fetch us were still not around thus we thought of many crazy things to do. Since we had 3 cameras with us, we had some pictorial session at the side of the highway (wow, what an idea). Some poses were hilarious but mostly were scandalous (well, not that scandalous.. just plain stupid). It was really crazy, we were laughing wildly and people were staring at us. Due to that, I was able to get over that certain sad thing I was troubling myself about (it’s a secret actually).
We just kept on laughing until more people came and finally Clemen and others arrived to fetch us. I was so glad to see my 2nd year babies; Che, Niña, Fatima and Bo. Everyone was still having Post Youth Camp madness and everyone is still high for God. At Aldrin’s house we were welcomed warmly. All the YFC members were ofcourse very used to visiting homes and it was not long before everyone is already comfortable to make some noise.
As we were eating, we also had the time to share jokes and wild experiences. Most of my batchmates were clumped together but I decided to hang around the sophies since we had a lot of catching up to do. I really had fun talking to them. They are a bunch of crazy students who have very distinct personalities. As, Che was so busy talking about Kuya Al’s crazy jokes, we were laughing our hearts out and everyone seems to be so close to each other. When, the world started to become silent I noticed that the sky that night was red. Kent made some nerdy explanation for such phenomena but he said that it is a sign for some sort of happiness.
Finally, another pictorial session came and as usual, the YFC people were craving for some exposure. We were clumping together like crazy and everyone tried to make a nice pose inspite the lack of space. I even spilled some coke (or was it pepsi?) on Wej’s hair, imagine that. We were getting noisier than ever and our poses were getting wilder. Jesryl even carried me around to have some drama or whatever. It was a damn crazy evening.
Then suddenly the noise was broken by a sudden call of silence… it was time for the praise and worship. We made a circle and began the holy moment with a sign of the cross and spontaneous worship to God. At that moment, we were no longer the wild and crazy students that we were just a few moments ago. We were already the well behaved human beings who were focusing our full attention to the grater force which binds us all. Two fast songs and one slow song were sung and the solemnity of the evening can be felt as the rhythm of the guitar pierces my heart. It was the time that I was able to reflect about the things that happened through the day and of how God helped me surpass every trial that happened. The whole time, I just kept my eyes closed and prayed with all my heart that things will be ok for everyone. Finally, the praise and worship session ended and when I opened my eyes, I was welcomed by a whole bunch of people crying.
Everyone was hugging each other. I even wondered why, and when I asked Margie, she said that she was so sad that all these would have to end when we enter college. I also talked to some sophies and when they told me about how they will miss me, I started to cry as well. I am easily moved, that I really hate it when I cry. I cry like a child and everyone was laughing at me because instead of comforting them, I simply joined their crying session. I even cry more tearfully than everyone else and it was so damn sad. I just realized that I spent so much good times with all my friends in Philippine Science that it seems to be unimaginable to leave all these behind. I would even have to leave my bestfriend (Verge) here in Davao, so that I can study in Ateneo de Manila. I would still have some Pisay friends there but it would still be different. I also realized that I just became close to the sophies this youth camp and it breaks my heart to know that I won’t be seeing them anymore. If only we knew each other earlier and if only we had the chance to spend more time together… maybe things would have been better. It was just so unfair because so much time was wasted and all these happy times would have to end so instantly. I just cried and hugged them all, and hope that the other Pisay babies who were not able to come will also know how happy I am that I was given the chance to be part of their service team for their youth camp. Well God has a reason for everything, thus we would just have to accept whatever it is He is planning for us.
And so, the night had to move on, we had the honoring session for the birthday boy, Aldrin. Some people were still crying that time because we just can’t get over the sadness. I tried not to cry any further so that I can set a good example to the youngsters. We shared a lot of good things about Aldrin, and even though I don’t know him that much, I do wish him happiness in his life. We also shared some last words of wisdom to the babies since they will be the ones to take the responsibility of the YFC in Pisay, and so the thoughts of leaving the school hunted us all which caused more tears to fall.
The sophies had to leave earlier but they promised to come to our graduation. The rest of us hanged around for some last minute bonding. It was really a roller coaster ride of emotions. I never laughed and cried that much for one day. That night was so memorable and I was really happy. The sky indeed has a reason for being red.
When I got home, I texted my babies and told them about how happy I am to be able to share God’s love to them. My Pisay days may end but our friendship and the memory of that night will last forever… so as the love of God and His presence in my heart.
People at PLDT were already dying in boredom when we arrived. The ones who were assigned to fetch us were still not around thus we thought of many crazy things to do. Since we had 3 cameras with us, we had some pictorial session at the side of the highway (wow, what an idea). Some poses were hilarious but mostly were scandalous (well, not that scandalous.. just plain stupid). It was really crazy, we were laughing wildly and people were staring at us. Due to that, I was able to get over that certain sad thing I was troubling myself about (it’s a secret actually).
We just kept on laughing until more people came and finally Clemen and others arrived to fetch us. I was so glad to see my 2nd year babies; Che, Niña, Fatima and Bo. Everyone was still having Post Youth Camp madness and everyone is still high for God. At Aldrin’s house we were welcomed warmly. All the YFC members were ofcourse very used to visiting homes and it was not long before everyone is already comfortable to make some noise.
As we were eating, we also had the time to share jokes and wild experiences. Most of my batchmates were clumped together but I decided to hang around the sophies since we had a lot of catching up to do. I really had fun talking to them. They are a bunch of crazy students who have very distinct personalities. As, Che was so busy talking about Kuya Al’s crazy jokes, we were laughing our hearts out and everyone seems to be so close to each other. When, the world started to become silent I noticed that the sky that night was red. Kent made some nerdy explanation for such phenomena but he said that it is a sign for some sort of happiness.
Finally, another pictorial session came and as usual, the YFC people were craving for some exposure. We were clumping together like crazy and everyone tried to make a nice pose inspite the lack of space. I even spilled some coke (or was it pepsi?) on Wej’s hair, imagine that. We were getting noisier than ever and our poses were getting wilder. Jesryl even carried me around to have some drama or whatever. It was a damn crazy evening.
Then suddenly the noise was broken by a sudden call of silence… it was time for the praise and worship. We made a circle and began the holy moment with a sign of the cross and spontaneous worship to God. At that moment, we were no longer the wild and crazy students that we were just a few moments ago. We were already the well behaved human beings who were focusing our full attention to the grater force which binds us all. Two fast songs and one slow song were sung and the solemnity of the evening can be felt as the rhythm of the guitar pierces my heart. It was the time that I was able to reflect about the things that happened through the day and of how God helped me surpass every trial that happened. The whole time, I just kept my eyes closed and prayed with all my heart that things will be ok for everyone. Finally, the praise and worship session ended and when I opened my eyes, I was welcomed by a whole bunch of people crying.
Everyone was hugging each other. I even wondered why, and when I asked Margie, she said that she was so sad that all these would have to end when we enter college. I also talked to some sophies and when they told me about how they will miss me, I started to cry as well. I am easily moved, that I really hate it when I cry. I cry like a child and everyone was laughing at me because instead of comforting them, I simply joined their crying session. I even cry more tearfully than everyone else and it was so damn sad. I just realized that I spent so much good times with all my friends in Philippine Science that it seems to be unimaginable to leave all these behind. I would even have to leave my bestfriend (Verge) here in Davao, so that I can study in Ateneo de Manila. I would still have some Pisay friends there but it would still be different. I also realized that I just became close to the sophies this youth camp and it breaks my heart to know that I won’t be seeing them anymore. If only we knew each other earlier and if only we had the chance to spend more time together… maybe things would have been better. It was just so unfair because so much time was wasted and all these happy times would have to end so instantly. I just cried and hugged them all, and hope that the other Pisay babies who were not able to come will also know how happy I am that I was given the chance to be part of their service team for their youth camp. Well God has a reason for everything, thus we would just have to accept whatever it is He is planning for us.
And so, the night had to move on, we had the honoring session for the birthday boy, Aldrin. Some people were still crying that time because we just can’t get over the sadness. I tried not to cry any further so that I can set a good example to the youngsters. We shared a lot of good things about Aldrin, and even though I don’t know him that much, I do wish him happiness in his life. We also shared some last words of wisdom to the babies since they will be the ones to take the responsibility of the YFC in Pisay, and so the thoughts of leaving the school hunted us all which caused more tears to fall.
The sophies had to leave earlier but they promised to come to our graduation. The rest of us hanged around for some last minute bonding. It was really a roller coaster ride of emotions. I never laughed and cried that much for one day. That night was so memorable and I was really happy. The sky indeed has a reason for being red.
When I got home, I texted my babies and told them about how happy I am to be able to share God’s love to them. My Pisay days may end but our friendship and the memory of that night will last forever… so as the love of God and His presence in my heart.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Story I Shared on My YFC Sharing
Life
Destiny has such playful hands. It has the capacity to bring sadness, chaos and even nightmares in our lives. But as we struggle for survival, courage and perseverance must reside in our hearts. These become our weapons in this huge battlefield of life, and help us to become true heroes in our own wars.
Destiny has such playful hands. It has the capacity to bring sadness, chaos and even nightmares in our lives. But as we struggle for survival, courage and perseverance must reside in our hearts. These become our weapons in this huge battlefield of life, and help us to become true heroes in our own wars.
I am a very diligent student. I am a consistent part of the Director’s List and even succeeded of being one of the top students in the whole batch. I am an editor in the Filipino School paper, “Bagwis Agham”, a dancer, a singer, an actress and also a painter. All in all, I could say that I am indeed a very busy person. For a girl of my age, I am quite strict and intimidating. I always have something to do and always have something to be bothered about; a research paper deadline, a dance contest, a school play or a press work. My life seemed to revolve around the notion that life is always about being on top. I didn’t care about how other people will think of what I do. I am far more concerned about my busy life. The belief that being “perfect” will make me happy was the thing that used to drive my life. But there was this one experience which changed my views, and also changed the manner I do things.
There was this night around January, when we had a farewell party for my grandmother. She was returning to Alaska on the next day and it will be long before she can visit us here in the Philippines again. The people were so happy on that night. Although, that happiness mingled with a pinch of sadness because we knew that we won’t be seeing her for a long time. But the spirit of togetherness dominated the ambiance of that celebration. All my close relatives on the mother side were there, my aunts, cousins, nephews, and nieces. Everyone was laughing and everyone had a joke or two to share.
The party just went on until one of my nieces, Jessa, said that she is already going home, with her grandparents, Aunt Tessy and Uncle Ben. Jessa is one of my closest nieces since we also used to be door to door neighbors. We all bid them goodbye and the rest of the children continued watching television with me. Five minutes passed and things were in normal mode when a neighbor suddenly came to my grandmother’s house and said that we need to rush to the nearby hospital, just around the block. He said that there was an accident, and Jessa, together with my aunt and uncle, was involved. We rushed to the hospital by foot. I was not that scared that time, neither was I rattled because I thought that it was just a minor accident. When we got closer to the hospital, we noticed that there were so many people outside. This was the time when I started to be bothered. I realized that it was not just any joke, and that Jessa’s life could be in great danger.
When we entered, I saw my aunt in the stretcher, with blood splattered around her body. My cousin and my mother rushed towards her, but I didn’t stay there for too long. I wanted to find Jessa. I saw from afar that my uncle was not hurt. It was just a small hospital and there were not much available beds. I had to look for her everywhere. Then suddenly, I saw her in a small clinic on a check-up table severely bathed in blood. I did not know what to say that time, nor I did not know how to react. I just felt a sudden rush of fear filling my chest. After a while, I started to cry. I was so scared of what could happen to her.
I suddenly remembered all the things that I thought that was important in my life. I thought about all the things that I fuzz about, and of how insignificant they were compared to the life of that little girl lying on that check-up table. I could see grasping for air as she breathes heavily. I prayed on that very moment that I won’t care about anything else in this world, just let that little girl live. Then suddenly my niece spoke and said “Ate ayaw ug hilak”(Ate, please don’t cry). Tears even rushed on my face even more, but I tried to muffle so that she won’t hear me. Both her eyes were closed and her left eye was blood shot. Her mother (my cousin) approached me from the back and started to cry as well, holding her daughter’s hand. But she backed of and said to me “Kim, maluoy ka sa ako” “Kim, please have mercy on me”. It was like she was asking me to take care of Jessa. She can’t stand seeing her daughter in such condition. Then my cousin went to her mother’s room. Suddenly, Jessa started to call her mother, but I said she was not there. She asked me to hold her hand and tell her stories. I asked her what stories she would like, and she said, only the happy ones. The nurse was dressing the wound on her forehead when the doctor asked me to keep the girl awake. Her life could be in danger, and if she sleeps, she may not wake up again. I kept telling her not to sleep, while pinching her palm. I was so worried when she kept on saying that she wants to take a nap. But I kept on telling her not too do so, and even scolded her. She was still a very stubborn child, in spite of her condition.
We were waiting for an ambulance to take us to a bigger hospital when she suddenly had a seizure. I was more terrified than ever. Thank God the seizure was not for long. I continually praised God’s name when she was stable again. Then the ambulance came. We would have to take them to a hospital where they can have a CT scan and make sure that there were no cerebral damages or broken bones.
On the other hospital, I had to be with her on the CT scan. Her mother was there too. I remembered my niece crying that time, complaining that the table was too cold. I saw tears rushed into her mothers eyes and that how worried she was about her daughter. We had to embrace her to keep her warm, as we waited patiently in that silent and cold room. We kept on telling Jessa not to sleep that time. She had another seizure which made the pang inside me more unbearable than ever.
When she was stable again, I accompanied her on the operating room. Someone had to assist the doctors as they stitched all of Jessa’s wounds. She was a very hard headed child, so they needed someone to direct her what to do and how to behave during the whole operation. I didn’t know what time it was anymore. When she was sent to the intensive care unit, for observation, I went to the waiting area where my other relatives were. I was so tired that night that I was even able to curl myself on a chair, and sleep.
The next day, I visited her and she was already in better condition. She asked me why I was there. Everyone told her that I still needed to study for my achievement test on that same week. But I said that I still wanted to be there. We talked for a while and I later found out that two vehicles hit their motorcycle consecutively, causing that much damage. There came a time when her mother went to us and asked her to sleep but she refused. Then she asked me when I will go home and study. Then I explained that maybe later. Then she said that she will sleep, and then I would have to go home and study. I was so touched about this, that she would still think of making me study. “She is still a very stubborn child …”, I said to myself while smiling.
When I went home I studied there and as I scanned to every page of my notes, I thought of my niece and of how she wanted me to study my lessons. I said to myself that if I will be a DL for that quarter, it will be for her and the rest of my family, who even thinks of my betterment in spite of the circumstances. They really look up on me and they appreciate how I take everything I do seriously. I used to think that people didn’t care about what I do that all they care about are themselves as well. I didn’t know how selfish I used to be, and of how I prejudged other people’s view on me.
I started to reflect on my life. I thought of how much stress I placed myself into, with all the pressures I gave myself. I realized how stubborn I was to demand for so much from other people just to satisfy my so-called being a perfectionist. On that night, a little girl almost lost her life, and yet she still remained a child; young, innocent and blameless. I never thought that life could be that fragile, and that we should make the most out of it since it can be taken from us any time. I started to understand the importance of the people around me, and that we should still take time to enjoy the things we love, even if we have goals to pursue. Everything should be done with our own love and passion, but also with inspiration from the people we value. That incident made me realize that we should do our best, not only for ourselves but also for others who look up on us, especially those who truly love us.
Several days weeks had passed when Jessa and I saw each other again. Ofcourse, we occasionally text each other before that. I noticed that the scar on her forehead was already starting to heal. Then she said to me that she is still under medication. Some nerves were damaged on her left eye and that there is a possibility for her to be blind. Until now she is still under medication, and we all pray for her complete recovery. She is now still a very cheerful girl, and still with a very stubborn nature. My aunt didn’t experience that much injury and only Jessa is now medicated.
Things do occur in life and sometimes these could make or break our spirit. But we just have to keep in mind that God has a reason for all things. That incident made me mature as a human being. It also made me realize a lot of realities in life. Sufferings are not always caused by sin, but they can also be tests. Even the most devastating phenomena have reasons. We just have to trust Him, and never lose our faith.
Kimberly H. Carrillo
My First Blog
Hello!
Can you believe it? I actually am blogging. Wow! This is just so cool. Well, this is my first time , so you really can't expect me to write something really good. But at least I already started and I hope eventually I'll get better.
So this blog thing allows me to write anything and let everyone read it ( at least everyone who's interested). Well, I am already fond of writing articles, stories and all that stuff even before so I already have a whole bunch of readables in my computer. I just have to post one article at a time and hope that some kind soul will read it (Oh! Pls. Read at least one).
Ok, so wish me luck and I hope this blog thing gets me somewhere... : D
Can you believe it? I actually am blogging. Wow! This is just so cool. Well, this is my first time , so you really can't expect me to write something really good. But at least I already started and I hope eventually I'll get better.
So this blog thing allows me to write anything and let everyone read it ( at least everyone who's interested). Well, I am already fond of writing articles, stories and all that stuff even before so I already have a whole bunch of readables in my computer. I just have to post one article at a time and hope that some kind soul will read it (Oh! Pls. Read at least one).
Ok, so wish me luck and I hope this blog thing gets me somewhere... : D
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